


Les Amis: The Secret Service

by Boossuet



Category: Kingsman (Movies), Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Fighting, Knives, Multi, This is poorly written I'm so sorry, Trans Bahorel, Trans Cosette, Trans Enjolras, Trans Feuilly, Trans Joly, Trans Marius, Trans Montparnasse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 08:29:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8394535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boossuet/pseuds/Boossuet
Summary: Pretty much just a shitty Kingsmen/Les Amis crossover! (Also kind of a R-meeting-everybody-but-Bossuet-Bahorel-Combeferre-and-Courfeyrac-for-the-first-time fic)
Pretty much everybody is trans!!! And Bahorel and Joly don't pass!!!! And Marius and Cosette aren't cishet!!!!!!!





	

Grantaire let his boxing buddy lead him into the main building of the Kingsman secret headquarters, thrilled to finally have passed his test and become a real deal Kingsman like his brother. "So, uh, was I supposed to dress up for this?" He asked Bahorel, noticing how well-dressed she was. 

"I would have taken you to get your suit, but your brother insisted upon having that honour," Bahorel said with a smile, fixing her hair in the reflective surface of the train wall. "Do you think the beard is too much?" She asked R as the train doors opened. "Answer that later, we have more important things to do right now." She all but dragged him out of the train. He barely got a glimpse of the amazing garage he had first seen when Combeferre had brought him here a few months previous before he was following quickly after Bahorel down a long narrow hallway. Suddenly he smacked into some one coming out of a door he hadn't noticed. 

"I'm sorry I..." Grantaire trailed off, finding himself looking directly into the icy blue eyes of an angel. The blond-haired god quickly gather everything R had made him drop, glaring at him the whole time. 

"Watch where you're going," He hissed at Grantaire before straightening up and walking away. 

"Taire! Holy shit! C'mon, almost everyone is in the training room now! This rarely happens," Bahorel called from the end of the hallway, holding the door open. Grantaire came back to his senses and ran down the hallway to meet her. When they entered the clean bright room, Grantaire noticed that they were in an observation booth of sorts and could look down into the huge gymnasium down below. He saw that this place had every kind of training equipment imaginable to keep their agents in shape. Bahorel's voice broke through his wonder and he began to notice the agents currently in the vast room. 

"That there is Bors, real name Jean Prouvaire, but every one calls them Jehan," Bahorel said, gesturing to a dark-skinned person with a flower crown gracing their poofy hair who was talking to a bald man near the balance beams. "They're one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet, but don't fuck with them. You already know Geraint, right?"

"I hope you all appreciate the irony of the Eagle of Meux being the hawk knight," Grantaire chuckled, looking at the room in wonder. His eyes stopped on a tall Egyptian woman with ombre hair making out with a tiny dark-haired Korean one who was still hitting her target perfectly. "Who are the two girls perfecting their tongue skills?"

"Joly isn't a girl, first off. Gaheris and Gareth are Bossuet's boyfriend and girlfriend. We call them the Three G's." 

"Too bad I'm an R or we could be the Four G's," Grantaire laughed before pointing to a red-headed Hispanic boy who had just flipped Combeferre's boyfriend over his shoulder. "Who is that?"

"That, uh, that's Feuilly. I mean Percivale. Well, both Feuilly and Percivale." She began to stumble over her words as a blush slowly spread across her cheeks. "The man he just knocked on his ass is Bedivere or Cou-"

"Courfeyrac. Yeah, I know. Not like he's dating my little brother or anything." Grantaire rolled his eyes. "Not like I ever see his face though. Are they always on each other here too?"

"Only when they aren't busy. That girl with the lilac hair there is Galahad. She is purer than a snowflake and more dangerous than acid rain. So don't fuck with her either. And the lanky nerd flirting with her is Tristan. Pontmercy just got his position last week, so he's nearly as new as you. Only half as graceful though. We aren't exactly sure how he made it in here. Joly says it was luck and loyalty."

Grantaire looked around the room once more, searching for the blond who had bumped into him when he first arrived. "Hey, who is that in the corner there?" He asked, directing Bahorel's attention to a fashionably dressed young man lurking in the corner, twirling a knife between his long, elegant fingers. 

"That's Lamorak. But call him only by Montparnasse," She said with a roll of her eyes. "He's too cool for code names." They watched as Montparnasse threw his knife right over Marius' head, causing Marius to squeal and Cosette to glare at him.

"He sounds like a dick," R observed, noticing how much Montparnasse and Cosette both looked like his beautiful blond god.

"Now, shall we go down and meet everyone?" Bahorel looped her arm through Grantaire's and started for the door. On their way down the stairs, they passed his angel and if Bahorel hadn't been supporting him, he surely would have tripped down the steps. Those blue eyes that held such contempt for him stuck out so nicely under those long feminine lashes and his hair was the colour of Jason's Golden Fleece. But as soon as Grantaire could recollect his thoughts and try to say something, the man had disappeared into one of the many doors lining the staircase.


End file.
